Exhausted.

Today was exhausting. 

As some of you know, I have entered back into the world of education. I've decided to put my foot back in that door, and so just about a month ago I became a Substitute Teacher.

It has been a very interesting experience.

I'll be completely honest. Being a Substitute Teacher is a hard job. Most days of the week I come home exhausted...in the past month, I've come home in tears once.

We (referencing Substitute Teachers) walk in to new classrooms every day. Sometimes, we see multiple classrooms a day. We are walking in to completely different management styles, different students, different atmospheres. Somehow, we have to seamlessly continue on a teacher's daily lesson plan after reviewing it for a short time in the morning before students begin to arrive. Sometimes, the plans make sense. Sometimes the plans make no sense. Sometimes, you have to completely reorganize the afternoon in 5 minutes when a guest speaker walks in to the room that was not in the afternoon schedule. Sometimes you feel successful, sometimes you fake it till you make it. Sometimes you just feel like a joke, or think that the kids and other teachers who witness you in action think you are a joke. 

Someday, hopefully soon, I will have my own classroom. Teaching in general isn't easy, but there is a comfort in knowing where you will be everyday. There is a comfort in knowing you get to work with the same kids everyday, tracking their progress, to establish routine. There is a comfort in having a team of teachers surrounding you, where you all get to collaborate and share ideas. Teaching your own classroom is highly different from Substitute Teaching.

On the tough days, the days where I feel like I am just awful at teaching, I remind myself of this. I am creating connections, I am getting to know the schools in the district I want to work in.  This is how I get my "in". I know I am a good teacher. Being a Substitute Teacher is my way of networking in to a future job.

The moral of this story. 

Sometimes days are rough. PUSH THROUGH THOSE. You are working your way to your place, your passion. Don't let a bad day make you feel like you are on the wrong path. Look at the bigger picture. 

Whatever your goals are:

Stay strong! Be bold! Don't stop!

You can do this.

I've seen this photo before, but it's the damn truth. Real success has a lot of squiggles, a lot of ups and downs, lots of steps forward but plenty of steps back.